In a waiting room.... (long Post)

SO I was thinking today of alot of things. I was catching up on my friends lives, through blogs and facebook, and it is so amazing.

( now just a little side note, I am in no way feeling depressed or sorry for myself. Just thinking)

But it seems tons of my Pals are getting married, or having wee little ones. Crazy...

SO then I started thinking about my life and where I am at in that.

I was thinking its like I am in the waiting room of eternal progession, waiting for the receptionist to call my name.

and everyone else is getting called in and I am still sitting there. Not twittling my thumbs, but keeping busy and trying not to get in trouble, (you know what I mean)

I know my time will come soon, but I am so tired of waiting and am getting so antsy. SO then I was sitting in my room cursing the daylight savings. Stupid.

when I felt I didn't want to go to church this week. I hate driving down the mtn. I didn't feel like getting dressed, showered and all that stuff.

Then I was reminded of something I heard, "its when you don't feel like doing it is when you really NEED to do it. SO I didn't really do my hair, I wore the simpliest thing with flats, and went to church. Now I did wear makeup cause Paste doesn't look right with out it. FACT.

Then I was listening to old talks and just trying to feel the spirit and inspiration. It worked pretty good. But one I felt I needed to listen to was given to me by a friend it was a BYUI devotional by Bednar. It talked about the atonement isn't just for sinners trying to be good, but for good people to be better.

And I feel this is where I am at. and he connected it to stories in the scriptures of people praying for the STRENGTH to change thier circumstances, insteading of praying for GOD to change them.

This is also where I am at. I know Heavenly Father is there listening to me and guiding me but Sometimes I think I am asking for the wrong thing. He wants to bless me and everyone so much but he can't tell us what to do, that was Satan's plan. We have to make our decisions, and ask for Heavenly Father's stamp of approval.

And sometimes He doesn't, instead he leaves it up to us and our best judgement. I am usually driven crazy about this. You know the whole OCD need to know everything, before I do it. and I hate the feeling of uncertainity.

But I am finding more often I am telling stop me if I am wrong, because it is all I can do to make sure it is the right thing. The only thing I have done that he has told me "this is what you need to do" is when I went on my Mission.

Ever since then It has been stop me if I am wrong. And boy Has he stopped me a couple of times. So I know its a silly way to get directions but it is working for me. And I know He trusts me in my ability to think and plan for myself. This is why I think I get the feeling to just go for it.